When Someone Goes Home

How do you process the grief? Your grief. Their grief. What words can you say that will help?

Perspective

I’ve witnessed the passing of people I love before. It wasn’t easy. This one is different. This one hits a spot in me that those didn’t.

To be with your friend and his family as they grieve is, in one way, a blessing. But your heart breaks for what comes next for each of them. You wonder what can you do for them. You want to be respectful and helpful. Plus, you carry your own sadness.

Prayers. Tears. Hugs. Kisses on cheeks.

Life unfolds. God was there. God is always there. I suspect God was grieving with us. But God was also overjoyed because one of His was now with Him.

Even as her health declined and her journey to Heaven drew near, God was quietly at work. Two people were brought closer together. Each needed the other more than they knew. But God knew.

Her life was a beautiful example for the rest of us. Her smile was always reassuring. Her words were wise. She showed compassion to everyone. You simply knew she cared about you. And when you were with her, she was fully present.

Watching the tears flow from friends shows the impact her life had on them. The genuine hurt of now losing someone who mattered so much.

When someone is called Home, it is indeed permanent. It is final in the sense that they are no longer here physically. But their spirit. Their influence on us. Their reflection in the family that remains. Those things continue their legacy.

As we all process this we will hear phrases meant to help. They might. We all could use a rallying cry. But sometimes the weight of the loss is crushing. A life built with another for so long is no longer that way. It’s that reality that makes this next day so much harder. It’s a day when we need each other and God more than ever.

Each of us is blessed with our next day until the day we receive our call. It’s how we handle what life offers us that makes the difference. What do we notice?

Right now, this beloved passing is not easy. How could you even want to see the good in this day with the heaviness of this loss? But there is good in this day. There is good despite how hard it is to figure out what comes next. There are grins. There are things to praise. To appreciate. To notice.

Much harder for the one who walked beside her every day. Much easier for those of us who were touched by her. Still, processing our grief. Helping with their grief. Well, that’s the call. That’s the love to share.

I am so very sad that someone so special had to leave us. A smile I looked forward to seeing. A friendly kiss. An embrace. Seeing her with him. Seeing them with her. Seeing those smiles and the love in their eyes. It’s sad because I won’t see that anymore. But I will always be thankful that I did. I was honored to be a witness to it.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, we really don’t understand this all down here. We try. We understand only the little that we seem to know. Father, in times like this we need You even more. We need Your Spirit to embrace us and all those around us who are grieving. We also need to be reminded that our time here is a gift. Help us to live well. Help us to love well. No words really, Father. Just love. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.